What Fatherhood Taught Me About Coaching

Before I had kids, I thought I was a pretty good coach. I knew the game. I could break down any stroke, put together a solid practice plan, and push players to compete hard. And I was good at that stuff. The technical side came naturally.

But becoming a dad taught me something no coaching certification ever could. Every kid standing on that court is someone's whole world.

That changed everything for me.

Patience

Every parent knows this moment. Your kid is trying to do something, they can't quite get it, and you want to just do it for them. But you don't. You wait. You encourage. You let them struggle just enough to figure it out on their own.

That's coaching at its best too. Before I had kids, I was too quick to jump in with the correction. Too eager to fix things. Being a dad taught me to slow down. To let the player work through it. To actually trust the process instead of just saying it.

Some of the biggest breakthroughs I've ever seen on court came when I stopped talking and let the player figure it out. My kids taught me that.

Every Kid is Different

If you have more than one child you already know this. The same approach doesn't work for both. One kid needs gentle encouragement. The other needs to be pushed. One shuts down if you raise your voice. The other doesn't hear you until you do.

Same thing on the tennis court. I coach kids who need a high five after every single point. And I coach kids who need me to get in their face a little and challenge them. Fatherhood made me better at reading what each kid needs in the moment. Not what the manual says. What this kid, right now, actually needs to hear.

Just Show Up

I think about this a lot. As a dad, the thing that builds trust isn't any one big moment. It's the daily stuff. Breakfast. Bedtime. Homework. Just being there consistently. That's what kids remember.

Coaching is the same way. The players who trust me the most aren't the ones I gave one great speech to. They're the ones who've seen me on that court every Tuesday and Thursday for two years straight. They trust me because I keep showing up. It's that simple.

Playing the Long Game

When my kids were little, I used to stress about milestones. Are they walking on time? Reading on time? Keeping up with the other kids? It took me a while to learn that development isn't a race. It happens on its own timeline.

In tennis, there's real pressure to get results early. Parents want to see progress. Kids want to win. And coaches feel the pull to chase short term results instead of focusing on long term development. Being a dad helped me resist that. I know what matters at 10 and what matters at 18 and they're not the same thing. I coach for the long game even when it's harder to explain right now.

They're Always Watching

My kids don't listen to half of what I say. But they see everything I do. If I lose my temper, they notice. If I'm kind to someone, they notice. If I follow through on something, they notice.

The athletes I coach are the same way. They watch how I handle frustration. How I treat their parents. How I respond when things go sideways. Character isn't something you teach in a lecture. It's something they pick up by watching you. Being a father raised my own standard and that carries straight onto the court.

Both Jobs are the Same Job

At the end of the day, being a dad and being a coach are really the same thing. You're trying to help a young person become the best version of themselves. One uses bedtime stories and the other uses tennis balls but the goal is identical.

I'm grateful for both. They feed each other in ways I never expected. My kids made me a better coach. Coaching made me a more intentional dad. I wouldn't change any of it.

To every parent who trusts me with their kid, I want you to know something. I see your child the way I see my own. And I'll keep showing up for them with everything I've got.

Michael Boothman Coach and Dad SRQ Tennis, Sarasota FL